Bring on the Thick Skin

So I came home from work last night feeling happy. I made good money and the snow was pretty and I was glad to be done with a day of hard work. But, a thin white little envelope burst this bubble. Yes, I received my first rejection to medical school. The burn wasn't necessarily due to the school, Georgetown, so much as the fact that the reality is finally setting in: my dream is within reach and the waiting game is over. Please, universe, realize how badly I want to be a doctor and let some dear school accept me!!! So bring on more rejections if you have to, I just need one school to accept me:)

Quote getting me through the past few weeks:

"I make the most of what comes,
and the least of what goes."

~Sarah Teasdale

Applying to medical school sucks!

I knew I was in for a long haul when I decided to apply to med school. Unfortunately this long haul also turns out to be rip-your-hair-out stressful, expensive, time consuming, and annoying. I am so sick of writing about my best attribute and why I am diverse and what my worst quality is and other inane questions. You would think these elite schools would actually come up with interesting, ethical questions or maybe something political, like what do you think of McCain vs. Obama on health care. Something that actually gets the juices flowing rather than having me wax poetic about myself...so sick of it!!!!!! I thought writing papers for school was annoying, but whew, these essays definitely take the cake!

On the happy side of life: I made the most fantastic fall cookie over the weekend: oatmeal, pumpkin, chocolate chip. And, of course, they are already gone because we are a family of cookie pigs.

Experiences

Here is a small sampling of things I have seen, heard, or done this week:

1. head reattachment (read on a chart)
2. giving a shot to a man's rump (done by me)
3. cleaning a wound on another man's rump (observed by me)
4. a finger coming detached from an accident at the ATM..ouch!
5. a nipple biopsy

Keepin' life interesting these days!

Love it!

Changes

Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like change. When I was little, too much change would give me stomachaches. So this in-between phase in my life right now was/is a little hard to settle in to. I am working full time (at a hospital and El Jasmino) and not taking any classes. I haven't gone more than three months without taking a class for the past 17 years!!! It is just crazy to not have that normalcy, that safe cocoon, that constant in my life anymore, but I can say so far that I haven't missed it as much as I thought that I would. I now have more time to focus on med school applications, focus on cooking and eating well, reading books I've meant to read for years, and indulge in Top Chef marathons (3 hours in front of the tv today..sweet!). So now I am off to make some dinner, drink some wine, and enjoy the fall weather.

Wa-frickin-hoo!!!! The beast of a test (aka MCAT) is finally buried and done with! I have never studied so hard for one test in my whole life or needed to score so well on one test, so I am hoping everything turns out for the good. All I can do now is pray to the scoring gods that my raw score will convert into a high score and med schools will see my brilliance (or semi-smarts). I celebrated for less than 24 hours though as it was back on the thesis-writing horse today. And of course, I saved the hardest part for last, the part with all sorts of obscure parts of fly neuroanatomy and really long words. I am really going to celebrate when this baby is done!

In other news, people who know my sister know that she is wickedly talented, but now she is putting it out there for the whole world. Check out her work at photojojo.com...so cool. I wish I was that technically/mechanically gifted. I was so proud of her when I was in a San Francisco hardware store and she was using all these crazy terms. Also, congrats to her for being a finalist for the Ruth Lilly poetry prize. I am keeping my fingers crossed for ya sis!

Also, I saw the best movie of the summer "Brideshead Revisited" a few nights ago and can't stop thinking about it. I found this awesome interview with the star of the movie, Matthew Goode. I think all interviews should be conducted with wine!

Well, the biggest test of my life is only 6 days away and I have to say, I am staying pretty (shockingly) calm. I haven't seen very much sunlight since I returned from San Francisco last week, however, as I have been hiding out in the library. KW once told me that I looked like an ewok and now I feel like one...a library ewok to be more precise. One thing I can say for all this studying, my brain feels sharper than ever. I helped M with a crossword puzzle last night and the answers were coming to me faster than ever before and I can do math in my head in a cinch.

Outside of being a library loser/ewok: I had a fabulous trip to San Francisco last week. There is nothing better than hanging out (i.e eating and drinking too much, and watching too many movies) with your sister in such an awesome city. We even scoped out sites for her wedding. Exciting! Here is a picture of the gorgeous beach that is just 10 minutes from their apartment!

Writing a thesis

So, it turns out that writing a thesis is not a piece of cake. I naively thought that a few days of writing would result in a lovely little thesis, but hahaha...the joke was on me! My desk right now is scattered with hundreds of pages of fly and parkinson's disease literature that I have read or need to read, and four huge books filled with everything from fixative recipes to neuroanatomy of cholaminergic cell bodies to the history of parkinson's disease. It is sort of exciting to be mired in all of this crazy shit, but at the same time, not so fun. Here is a list of the most important things you need by your side when trying to write a thesis:

1. A good dictionary and thesaurus
2. Plenty of diet coke, preferably in an iv (or if its the morning, freshly ground coffee)
3. A nice selection of Swedish, Swiss, and organic chocolate
4. No-bake cookies (a chocolately oatmeal confection)
5. A bottle of ibuprofen
6. A pillow for taking 5 minute cat naps
7. An awesome Pandora radio station (this is the best invention since the iPod)
8. A healthy stack of trashy gossip magazines (my personal favorite is US Weekly) to prevent the mind from becoming too serious
9. A nice dosage of anti-anxiety medication to take the edge off of genetic perfectionism
10. Ten limber fingers

Bundle of Nerves

You know you are nervous for the MCAT when the sight of an expiration date on a milk carton sends you into a panic attack. Yes, this happened to me at the grocery store yesterday. The milk carton's AUG 6 sent me into a fit of hysteria because that is the day after the most (okay not the most, but one of the most) important days of my life. I think all standardized tests are diabolical and especially the MCAT. Do none of the hundred or so tests I took in college even matter? Aaargh...I just have to call on Jesus now folks. Whew.

Back to Blonde

(Yes, I am this vain). So for the past 22 of my 23 years I have been blonde. One day my hair just decided it would be fun to turn me into a dishwater blonde...not so cool! I thought the sun this summer would help, but my hair was only becoming browner. So, I took matters into my own hands and dyed my hair back to blonde. It turned out a little strawberry blonde, but at least it is lighter. Like I said, I know I am vain to worry about my hair color, but now I feel more like myself and that is a good thing!

Mystery!

Oh Good Lord..my favorite show is back on the air!! I am sort of ashamed to admit that my favorite show is also my grandparents' favorite show, but yes, Mystery! Masterpiece is pretty damn brilliant. I have to say Inspector Lewis is not nearly as hot as Inspector Lynley, but the shows are still great. Love it. (Mike, next time that I am in SF we are going to have a Mystery marathon when B is at work!)

Heat Sucks

It is now that time of year that I hate the most: the endless days of polluted, 95+ degree heat. The kind of heat that slows the brain, makes my energy go poof, and really makes me hate Utah. This heat is just what kills summer for me. I know it could be worse though. I have lived in Louisiana where the heat sticks with you all day and night long via your own personal muggy bubble and never lets go. But there is something about the dying grass and the high temps and the polluted air that makes summer in Utah so depressing. And, I hate air conditioning! Argh, all of these conditions led to me having a swear fest on Sunday afternoon...not pretty! But, I am trying valiantly to regain my control over the heat. I will not let it get the best of me! Well, maybe for the 10 minutes that it took me to write out this pity-party of a post:)

Movies in the Past Week

Okay this is a little scary, but here is a list of all the movies that I have watched in the past week:

The Savages ****
Sex and the City ***
The Aristocrats Part I **
The Family Stone ***
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull *
Nancy Drew *** (Jess and I both agree that knee highs need to come back in style)
Sweet Land ****
Dedication ***** (I love me some Billy Crudup, especially with wild OCD!)

8 movies in 7 days...nice. I love summer!!

ENGAGED!

Hell no, I am not engaged...my sister is! Yippee! I am so thrilled for Britta and Mike. They are both so talented, funny, loving, smart, and great together. And Mike is a super-champ for putting up with Britta's little sis (aka me) especially that memorable trip to Cowgirl Creamery. Sorry Mike, but I truly can blame that on the complete lack of thyroid hormones I had at the time. I love you both and can't wait for the wedding! I already have a few ideas up my sleeve for you guys:)

My Kid Could Paint That...

I watched an amazing documentary last night titled "My Kid Could Paint That." I thought it was just going to be this simple little story about a four-year-old abstract painting genius, but it was way more brilliant than that. Questions about what is modern art, child fame, greed, lying, scams, relationships...whew...this just went everywhere. I urge everyone to watch it...completely fascinating. I was actually crying at the end.
You can check out www.marlaolmstead.com , yes a six-year-old has a website, and see what you think of the artwork.

The Past Two Weeks

In the past two weeks I have:

*graduated (minus a thesis still in progress)
*been confirmed in the Catholic church
*finished all of my undergrad classes with sorta flying colors
*read 3 books
*started studying for the MCAT
*have had MCAT-anxiety nightmares every night
*been rejected by a boy
*trudged through snow and sweated through the sunshine

All in all, everything just feels so unsettled right now. Hopefully in a few more weeks everything will feel a little more settled and I will start enjoying summer. I am enjoying my new camera...check out this cool picture I took of a cabbage at Red Butte.

Hope v. Frog

My aunt and uncle brought their little dog hope down to slc for my graduation. We had a lot of fun torturing her. Here's the evidence.

One last study/laugh-break

Tomorrow I will take my last final as an undergrad...praise Jesus!! I am so burned out and over it all, but I am trying to study. I needed a little laugh this morning and what is funnier than cutlery, monkey diseases, and child slaves?? I know most of you will think that these guys are crazy, but I think Flight of the Conchords are genius.

I would rather be here...

ugh! I have been stuck at my desk all day studying my little brain into overload. Luckily I got outside for a run today, but other than that, it has been me and the books. Here's a picture of my favorite place...Montana. Here's wishing I was there right now rather than at my desk studying.

Quote of the Day

"The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of the human race than the discovery of a new star." ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

My sentiments exactly. Happiness is my mom's newly perfected, bankable chocolate chip cookie recipe. I am still a little bitter that the only non-baker female in the family is now the most praised baker, but one taste of her cookies usually erases that silly bitterness!

Proust was a Neuroscientist

I am reading the coolest book called "Proust was a Neuroscientist" by Jonah Lehrer. I would highly recommend it to anyone who loves art and science. This book is the golden bridge between both worlds and makes me realize how much more connected the two disciplines are, should be, and need to be. Lehrer also has a great blog which you can check out here: http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/
At times the blog can be a little too self-important and erudite, but it is definitely worth checking out.
All right, must run back to studying...

Finals Hell

Whoa Nelly! Here is a list of all that I have to accomplish in the next week:

*Write a paper
*Finish a physics assignment
*Study for a physics final
*Study for a biochem final
*Study for an ecology exam
*Study for an ecology final
*Finish a project in the lab
*Write a statement of purpose

Oh yeah, it is going to be a fun week!

My heart is broken into a million little pieces...my dear, beloved dog Kobe was put to sleep today. This whole weekend has been a blur of tears and uncertainty and grief and sorrow and heartache. My heart is just physically hurting. I hope my dear Kobe will now have some peace.

Poor Puppy!

My dear beloved Kobe has had a rough couple of months. Last night it all culminated in a sad scene when he couldn't even walk. We rushed him to the pet er and after 3 hours, he still wasn't any better. I sure hope the vets can help him.

Physics and Tape

I am studying for a physics test and watching this video is my favorite way to take a laugh-break. This won't make any sense to those of you who don't watch "Flight of the Conchords" so it's more for my own enjoyment. But, hopefully it might make you laugh, too.

About all I could stomach

This is why Bizarre Foods is my new favorite show: Cow-butt sandwiches, fresh donkey's milk, grilled cow intestine, cow utter, fresh lamb's blood pudding, and freshly-castrated cow testicles. I am known as somewhat of a foodie, but this is a little insane...getting a little too familiar with the animals if you know what I mean. (B, wish you were here to watch it with me!)

Check out the link to the freshly-castrated cow testicles here: http://www.andrewzimmern.com/gallery/photos/season_two

Piano Crushes

So I was really bored this afternoon, no book, no tv, no movie, no music, no conversation, no game, no nothin' could remove the boredom. And I was not about to give in to homework! I walked by my piano and something lured me to the keys. I started playing and playing. An hour later I woke up from a lovely piano-haze. Ah, I miss that feeling! It is so satisfying to create your own music. Granted, the piano-tuner hasn't been here for 3 years so the sound is a little off, but still, it was nice to play again. (Added bonus, playing the piano finally took my mind off of daydreaming about the boy I have a crush on. I forgot how annoying it is to have a crush when the other person has no clue that you even exist!)

All right, off to dinner and a movie.

This video is the mother-flippin' best. Thanks B!

A Perfect Movie

It takes a lot to impress me at the movies. There are many movies that I like, but only a few that I actually think live up to the artistic value that I think cinema should/can have. I haven't seen a movie like this in ages, but out of the blue, completely, but charmingly unexpected, I watched one the other day. The movie is called "The Girl in the Cafe" and it is pitch-perfect. Heartbreaking, lovely, funny, powerful, thoughtful, smart, sad, and brilliant. I have been thinking about it nonstop since I watched it last week and I urge you all to watch it (good luck finding it though!). Absolutely perfect. Enjoy!

J-thanks for the movie. So was he guilty or not? I am very confused by it all, but it ended up okay I suppose.

Easter (take out the s-er)

Easter is for eat! After 50 days of lent I was ready to gorge (okay, I actually didn't observe lent this year, but I did go to church four times during lent!). There of course was the obligatory Easter candy replete with every variety of Cadbury egg...Yum! For dinner we made lamb chops with a savory thyme-mustard gravy (that I wanted to roll in), asparagus with fresh Parmesan shavings and a sweet pea salad. Finally I made shortcake from scratch, homemade whipped cream with dollops of honey and vanilla, and a mash of strawberries. Holy moses, this was definitely not a day of solemn reverence, but it all tasted so fabulous and finally put me in the mood for spring. And tomorrow B will be here so we are going to have to make our damn finest Celiac meal (and maybe hide all the candy, so as not to tempt her evil no-wheat-processing belly.)

What a Fabulous Spring Break!

Oh yeah, this is definitely one of the best spring breaks I have ever had! I have spent all of the past three days in the library--yippee! How fun! It was either this or Cancun, but I think I definitely chose wisely.
Just so you know, it really wasn't by choice that I am spending my time studying. Two of my professors thought it would be so fun to schedule tests the week after spring break, one of my professors thought it would be cool to assign 3 assignments due the week after spring break, and another professor thought it would be great to make a 10-page research paper due the week after spring break. Aren't they just the best??

Alright, enough sarcasm...I have to put my nose back in the books.

But first, here is a picture from where I was a year ago...my favorite museum in the whole entire world...the British Museum. See if you can spot me!

10 best of SF

In homage to Mike receiving the Jones lecturer position at Stanford, here are my 10 favorite things about San Francisco. (I was secretly praying that M would get the job so I could visit them for two more years. Yippee! Now all they need is a house in the Presidio and a greyhound).

1. Seeing Britta and Mike, of course
2. Farmers' Market on Saturday
3. Blue Bottle iced coffee, the best non-alcoholic drink in the city
4. Reading on a sunny patch of grass in the Park
5. Dolphin watching off the Golden Gate bridge
6. Cheese pizza at Escape from New York. Hands down, the best pizza I have ever eaten.
7. Pain au chocolate at Tartine.
8. Vegetarian burrito at Cancun, made all the more interesting by trying to eat while homeless people stare at you.
9. Feeling not like a tourist when I am with M and B.
10. Pain de mie from Acme with smears of lemon marmalade and fresh butter. That is actually where the name for this blog came from!

Cupcake Happiness

This is a picture of the beautiful cupcakes that B and I made in early January. I was dreaming about them today, but sadly I just don't have the time to bake right now so I thought I would simply post a picture instead.

FRUS-$%#*&^-TRATION!!!!!

Somehow in the past 2 weeks I have managed to lose a $100 jacket and my physics lab manual. Frickin' awesome man! Aaargh! I hate losing things and feeling so helpless at finding them. Especially a new $100 coat...

Blah, I should be celebrating the fact that I got 100% on my biochem exam, but instead I am just overcome with frustration. Anyone have a suggestion for getting rid of the frustration (outside of just finding the thing)?

Stale Bread

I originally started this blog so I could talk about my favorite thing: food! Anyone who knows me knows that I love to eat, cook, bake, find new recipes, read cooking magazines, and try new restaurants. So instead of only writing boring updates on my life I am going to take a new approach and write about food issues that I am digging at the moment.

My latest food obsession is oatmeal with wildflower honey. I eat it every morning for breakfast and it is the perfect balance of sweet and warm and filling that I need to start of my long, cold days of school, studying, the lab, and work.

Last week B and I made my perfect vanilla cupcakes, and yes, they truly are perfect. The recipe is everything I have ever desired in a cupcake: dense and airy at the same time, moist, vanilla-y, and not too sweet. The frosting is really the...well, the icing on the cake! A simple mix of butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla. Yum!