I am studying HIV/AIDS pathogenesis for my microbiology class and I want to cry. How can one infinitely small capsule of nucleic acid lead to such devastation of the human body???? Definitely humbling, definitely sad, and definitely mind-blowing.

Some of my favorite new words...

*gubernaculum (yes, it is a very real word. connective tissue of the testes)
*gingivostomatitis (a sore mouth in babies)
*claudication (atherosclerosis leading to limping. many pts in the hospital have this symptom..who knew?)
*cholangiocarcinoma (cancer of the bile ducts...again who knew that this could happen?)

I would have been a damn better speller when I was a kid if I knew some of these words. Then again, I probably would have been Doogie Howser, M.D. if I had known these words.

I was telling dear EB today that the only thing running through my head today while talking to patients were names of foramina and features of the skull. Yes, I do know (maybe) where the petrotympanic fissure is located. EB said, "Ladies and gentleman, we have a nerd in the house." HAHAHA!!! So true, so true. But I love my nerd status. I have come to find that I feed off of knowledge, especially medical knowledge. Like, do you know what claudication or kyphosis mean? (If you know this without having to google it, you should maybe apply to med school, if you haven't already). Bring it on baby..this nerd wants more of it!

Simple Foods

A fantastic mid-winter week of simple/healthy meals:

~Roasted butternut squash, potato, leek soup with gruyere toast
~Smothered sirloin burgers with mushrooms
~Roasted tilapia with olives, garlic, and tomatoes (and a nice pinot noir)
~Double dark chocolate cupcakes

Yummy! This is the type of food I wish that I always had the time to make!

I am not you, and you are not me

I am reading a fantastic book right now titled Another Day in the Frontal Lobe by Dr. Katrina Firlik. So freaking amazing!!!! Obviously I am a little obsessed with medicine at this point in my life, but I think many of these medical non-fiction books should be required reading for all Americans so they can really understand the weird world of being a doctor. I know that I have had my fair share of rude, distant, arrogant doctors and while I believe this attitude is inappropriate (to say the least), it helps remembering the immense pressure doctors are under. Another really fantastic book that explores this idea is How Doctors Think by Dr. Jerome Groopman. Now, I am not at all saying that it is acceptable for doctors to act disrespectfully and in abuse of their power, but this pressure can maybe explain why nice people can sometimes become mean, stressed-out doctors. (And then there are the mean, arrogant people who become doctors...and nobody can help them!!) All of this understanding people from the stance opposite of me has helped me to see (or try to see) the world with this unbiased, open, collective viewpoint. Granted, when someone cuts me off on the freeway it is a little hard to have this understanding attitude, but I can say it does cool the stress off a tad. Resolution #10 for the New Year: try applying this attitude in the most stressful of situations!

Bring on the Thick Skin

So I came home from work last night feeling happy. I made good money and the snow was pretty and I was glad to be done with a day of hard work. But, a thin white little envelope burst this bubble. Yes, I received my first rejection to medical school. The burn wasn't necessarily due to the school, Georgetown, so much as the fact that the reality is finally setting in: my dream is within reach and the waiting game is over. Please, universe, realize how badly I want to be a doctor and let some dear school accept me!!! So bring on more rejections if you have to, I just need one school to accept me:)

Quote getting me through the past few weeks:

"I make the most of what comes,
and the least of what goes."

~Sarah Teasdale